Leaving me behind

I see us drifting further and further apart. I don't know what to do. I want to reach out and call out to her, to tell her I miss her, but something stops me - a combination of fear, pride and hurt. Fear that she may not even know what I'm talking about. Hurt, if she can see it happening, that she's simply letting it happen and pride - my everlasting ego not wanting to cater to her any longer because I know I made the effort each time and I wish for once she'd be trying to keep me in her life. Just once, I wish it wasn't so easy for her to let me slip her mind.

We always hear people commenting on how so-and-so has changed over time and they gradually move out of your lives. Looking back, I begin to wonder.. Maybe the problem is me. Everyone's changing.. Becoming different people.. Moving on in life.. Leaving me behind. Maybe the problem isn't that they've changed - the problem is that I haven't.

I don't know anymore. I miss so many of them. But like with her, I struggle to call out to any of them. Like I'm screaming at them from one side of the glass wall and they can't hear me on the other side. In fact, they probably can't even see me.

Heartbreaking, truly.

I think I dreamt about Ron and Beatrice on Tuesday or Wednesday night. Does that mean he came to visit me? Ron, if you did, thank you. It means a lot to me that you haven't forgotten me yet =)