'Havoc in my current lifestyle' continued

So many things have happen in such a short time.. In most cases I find myself incapable of handling the situation to my liking.

Yes, I did enjoy my last 2 times at Castle. HOWEVER there were also consequences to the fun I had. Eg William. The first incident was just a mistake. I'm not that kind of a person, but it happened. I'm not gonna say I regret it, cos I don't. It was just something that happened. Then last Fri, the girls spent all evening shoving me at William.. so finally I started playing along and then the fella starts thinking I'm into him etc etc and freaks out (he even had to speak to tiff abt it). WTH?? ahahah.. me so not into him. no offense to him or anything. but I'm gonna expect we instantly have a relationship just cos i happened to dance with him n stuff one night. Not THAT desperate.. Geez man.. Anyway what's his problem la, rite? Even if i did like him.. that's abt it mar.. Nobody said he had to like me back oso.. Arghhh.. dunno why la.. but I just got so angry. And Tiff oso made a comment that kinda cut right through me.. but I know she didn't mean it that way. She said, "dunno la.. even when we were upstairs, u were like, all over him on the couch" Muahahha... erm. yeah.. minus my pounding, tired head which i rested on his shoulder cos he happened to be beside me.. yeahhh i was all over him. Damn i only i had puked or something. aahhahaha *evil* Tiff, it's okay.. i know u didn't mean it, so i'm not upset or anything.

I just realized that that's the sort of person I am. I like having fun. I like entertaining. The thing is, whenever I find a guy cute or something like that, my friends always make a big fuss over it. So I play along. I mean.. it's just for fun, no harm in it. Nobody said I'm really interested in the guy just cos I find him cute, yeah? My personal love life I take way more serious than that. I don't know these guys very well, that's why it's so easy to play along. And I'm glad my friends enjoy it too. Though I don't think they know I'm only playing. Well.. I guess they do now =D. One can do all sorts of things in a club, cos it doesn't really count. When I'm out and back to reality, I don't quite act the same way or feel the same things. Things are different when you're out having fun.

I'm repeating myself. Rambling.

And I'm quitting my job at Camberwell. Out looking for another. In the meantime.. no money. Not even enuff to buy my sis's present liao. *sigh* me n Tiff got our dresses off e-bay. Both paid more than expected but alas.. we got our dresses, hey Tiff?