No more lies, huh?

Why is it that after all this time I still find myself lying to the people I care most around me? Isn't the about time I came clean?

Ame, yeah Sean and I did have an argument. In fact, we're taking a break. More for me than for him. I don't even know what I want anymore. But I don't know why I didn't tell you that. Guess I didn't want all the concern and sympathy etc etc.

And after what I did, there seems to be this big humongous fear gripping my heart because I don't know if I did the right thing. And if I did, then why am I not as upset as I should be? Yet, I doubt myself. I don't know. I don't know anything anymore and I hate it. Why is it so hard to make a decision and stick with it?

If you find someone who really loves you, and he loves you more than I do.. Go for it.. I'll be happy for you

Don't love me.. I'm not good. I have a record of being unfaithful. There.. It's out in the open. I'll always be looking for someone or something better. I'll always have a wandering eye. The only way to stop seems to be if you're by my side 24/7. Even then I wish I had something better. I can't help it. I always wish for a better life. I'm human. I'm never happy. I'm never contented. I'm never satisfied. So don't love me. I can't make you happy.