Thursday, April 28, 2005
Pissed off out of my mind
I got kinda annoyed at Peini today.
Something to do with the missing of lectures again.
So I had to get up at 7am to attend Bio which I wouldn't have attended had she not told me the night before that she was going.
So yes, I'm royally pissed.
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So cute right? Aahahha.. i oso want..~!! Must go get one for myself.
Looking forward to Friday. *woot woot* I'm so excited. Even if I dun quite have anything to wear yet.. Grrrr
Jennifer left this place at 12:04 AM | 2 comments
Where to get the thing above, i also want.
Hewos.. erm.. I got them from Morning Glory on Swanston St. The one in Melbourne Central had limited options.. =)
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OMG.. I can't believe what happened last night.. It's SO BAD. Ended up going to Gladys' thing AND clubbing. Had pan-seared salmon with mash, spinach and watercress for dinner. Mmmm...so good.. Too bad I threw it all up at 4 in the morning after I had a little too much to drink. *sigh* puking is gross.
Tiffany> Thank you so much for taking me home. You're such a gem. Lots of apologies to you and Amelia for my disastrous state last night. I'm so so so sorry. It'll never happen again. And thanks for setting my alarm on my phone even if I didn't get up. Heheh.. my sis woke me up at 8.30 screaming that I'll be late AGAIN.
Eating lunch now. Ergh.. I feel sick. Hangover didn't hit till after I got to work but I'm sort of okay now - until I started eating lunch (Hungry Jacks! After 4 weeks of McDonalds straight..). Not really a hangover - I don't have a splitting headache or anything like that. I just feel really sick and sleepy. But I bought a bottle of V to combat sleepiness so it's all good! I swear I'm not working next week. Also contemplating quitting my job but I'm still weighing the consequences and deciding how I'm gonna tell my manager..
Funnily enough I pretty much remember my antics and everything going on around me last night. Like I remember Alan. And William. *blink blink* ........ Some things I wish I didn't remember.. gawd.. *hics* I remember telling myself that I should stop after my 4th drink; telling myself that I've already had more than enough. Not that I listened. And I remember Tiff telling me that Peini went home crying or something like that. I guess there were quite a few of us who had too much to drink last night.
BUT IT WAS SO FUNNNNN AND THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS~!!! I think.. I haven't met the consequences of my actions last night. Will find out next Fri though.. *gulp*
Jennifer left this place at 1:45 AM | 0 comments
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In Maths now - shouldn't have come... I should be at home, resting up for tonight! Ahahah... well, that is IF Peini gives me that ticket of hers. Otherwise, I'm just going for Gladys' 18th b'day dinner and come home to crash before I have to get up for work. Not sure whether Peini even remembers offering it to me - she's not even coming to class today. *SIGH* she never does anymore anyway. Don't know why I still bother to check whether she's coming or not. Have to go get Gladys' present after I finish class at 1pm. Go straight to the city and get everything. Ooh! Have to get Lina's present as well. She turns 20 today. She's SO CUTE! Then can come home n sleep before Gladys' dinner.
Yeah I ended up going to Castle as well. Got Gladys a glass n an ID bracelet. Got Lina a similar glass. Must post the pic of the two glasses together. So cuteee...~!! *sigh* i also want....
Jennifer left this place at 1:12 AM | 0 comments
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Bio test tomorrow.. bio test tomorrow.. i need to study.. but i can't seem to concentrate. Might be from the topsy-turvy sleeping patterns i've been keeping for the last few days.. Bleh.. Well, I'm not sleeping again tonight.. Maybe I should drink coffee again.. *hics* maybe not.. I should really stay away from coffee.. it gives me a permanent buzz.. scary stuff.. Anyhow, i might go over to amelia's place to crash study.. tiff n peini are there too.. I feel kinda awkward re:peini.. i'm worried she might have certain feelings regarding me hanging around her friends.. So i haven't decided whether i should go or not. I'd really like to, but at the same time, Pei Ni was my first friend here, and it's thanks to her that i've adapted. I want to respect how she feels; dun wanna stuff things up.
On the other hand, me n Tiff seem to be getting along fine. She's in my Chem tutorial n my Bio lecture, she's Gerald's cousin, and she knows how i feel about HIMMM.. ahahah.. i dunno but i reckon i've become kinda weird suddenly. So luv-sick all of a sudden.. I go tingly whenever I see him online (which is like SOO seldom), i perk up whenever his name is mentioned (which is like almost never).. Eesh.. never felt this way before... Ahaha... Dammit.. YOU (the HIM), yes YOU.. you have to help me get over this! But I don't think you'll figure out who u are.. not unless i tell u.. HAH!
Ah.. watching OC now.. Just scrunged up some dinner since my sis ditched me for her Mentor Program launch. Erghh.. I dun think i should cook. Health hazard. I should be studying I swear.. My gawsh i can't even string a sentence properly anymore.. Ooh! Somebody died on OC..okay study study study..
Jennifer left this place at 8:42 PM | 0 comments
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Grrr.. I'm supposed to be up for work in 2 hours exactly. Figured I shouldn't bother sleeping at all. Probably end up more tired if I sleep anyway. I'm in a sort of mixed zone. Had a 151 for the first time in my life.. yech.. literally burnt a hole right through my throat. Followed it up with a can of V, my beloved V.. so now i've got majorly strong alcohol depressing my system, and caffeine in V stimulating it.. On a high and a low at the same time. Btw, I'm never drinking 151 again.. My eyes were tearing madly when I downed that stupid glass..
Anyhow, I think the mentioned damned 151 made me tell the world about Joshua. Oops.. I think that was a big mistake.. Ahahah.. *sigh* oh well.. It's just a stupid thing, I guess. Amelia n Tiffany keep saying, "So cute.. so cute..~!!" but I don't think it's cute.. In fact, i think it's kinda scary and confusing. Joshua is confusing. Guys are confusing full stop. Ahahaha...
On the subject of guys, I hate guys who overdrink n get drunk or tipsy - to the extent that they call me Jessica, instead of Jennifer. Especially if the guy is supposedly trying to win my affections.. Come to think of it, maybe I don't hate it.. more like it's such a turn-off. I like my guys sober. Lucky for me Gerald n Joshua aren't like that. Well, i know gerald's not like that n i'm pretty sure Joshua can handle his alcohol =D
*sigh*.. one hr n 15 minutes to go.. I hope the V lasts me for a sufficient period of time..
Oh and I saw Chiew Keng's lookalike tonight. Ahahah.. Pei Ni was the one who pointed him out and we both cracked up laughing.. My Gosh, he even speaks like Chiew Keng! Hehehe.. quite amusing. Except that I don't even know his name yet and I'm never gonna ask for it =P
Jennifer left this place at 5:01 AM | 0 comments
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I've made my decision. I'm gonna take some time out and distance myself from all those concerned with the current issue in my life. I think I might revert back to my prior loner life for a while. The recent major inflow of new people into my life might have been a lil too much for me to handle. Turnin cold, just to help me deal with this for the moment. But not that anyone will notice. Cos it's not as if anything will change on the surface. It never does. It never will. Just smile, right?
Some people want it all,
But I don't want nothing at all
That's where it ends. Don't want anything but myself. My life - it revolves around ME
Jennifer left this place at 1:25 AM | 2 comments
Jenn, jamie here..how r u hah?? when u plan to come bek to m'sia again?? how's life there...how's ure sis?? ure aunt asked me to send her regards to u and ask u 2 to take gud care..from me, same same la...nyway, got msn,rite?/add me la...mayb can chat wif me/her sumtime..
~shojena86@hotmail.com~
~cheers~
jamie n family
Wow... how did u get this address?? I'm good here.. Sis is fine too, just extremely busy with uni work. How're u? I must catch with u soon. Promise to be home in m'sia end of this year :)
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I think Alicia Keys was referring to me when she was singing about "some people".. *sigh* I wish it weren't so, but I can't help it. If it were a choice between a guy with lots of things to offer me, and a guy who only had love to offer me and nothing else, I would go for the one with lots to offer, simply because I don't think I could survive on love alone.
Maybe that's why people tend to think that I'm shallow and such a player. It's not intentional though.. I don't look at a guy and plan on how I can get him for a fling. I don't intend to play on someone's feelings. People misunderstand my actions. And no matter how much I wish it wasn't so, it will always be so which means that I will always continue to hurt people's feelings which means that they'll always think that I was flirting n just playing around. So now I'm sitting here wondering if perhaps, for the first time in my life, I'm contemplating that maybe I should change. Maybe I shouldn't be so open to other people. Be more conservative and narrow-minded. Because my actions are always being misenterpreted. Maybe I constantly sending out the wrong message. But I have absolutely no idea what I'm sending out so how can I fix it? The only thing I can think off is to shut down on the inside. To become distant, be unfriendly and less open. Then they'll call me cold-hearted instead. So what's a girl to do? I'm losing either way. I just don't like people to think of me as some cheap, materialistic player cos I'm not that kinda girl. They don't know what goes on in me when things like these happen. They don't know how I feel each time I realize that I've hurt someone's feelings without realizing it. To those of you who've always categorized me like that, sometimes things aren't that simple. So you should take the time to get to know me better before you call me a player. It's not as if there isn't my side to the story
Jennifer left this place at 12:56 AM | 2 comments
Take it easy on yourself. Life is already as complicated as it is without more complications being added into it. Not there is anything wrong with being complex.I got to admit that i dont have much to offer(i know this from experience) but i will try to offer more if i could.This i emphasis. But as i already made it quite clear, my studies is my top priority Currently.There are times where u think u r hurting other ppl,but at the same time, they may think they are hurting u.That is why sometimes they dont know what to say to u since they might hurt your feelings if they are too frank about stuff. To be serious now, i dont think u r a flirtious gurl, u r going through a transition in life(i presume) where it is ok to be confused and ppl might take for granted that u r a cheap materialistic PLAYER!I personally have seen a myriad of different girls in my life. To me i will try to distance myself from potential trouble (I dont like to create a scene since i like to keep a low profile) and there r a number of girls who i try to keep a fair bit of distance with. I know that i am like reiterating what u say but i dont really want to hurt yr feeling(even though i know that i hurt u a few times already-maybe i am too straight, i should try to beat around the bush to avoid yr questions) It would really help if i know what u r feelings at times, even though the possiblity is that i may not be of any help at all, i will try to comfort u.So please to express yr feelings(we r homo sapiens with feelings rite) ................................................................
Take Care
Cheers and hugz
I think I know who u are... but I'm not quite sure. Well if u're the guy that called me the player, *sigh* it's early days.. U don't know me very well yet. And I guess it's not so important if we hurt each other in the process of getting to know each other cos that's basically how we learn more abt one another =)I'm not exactly sure what u're referring to as my transition phase, cos I've almost always been this way. u've gotta explain that further to me, pls.
Erm.. if u're not the guy who called me a player.. u have to contact me. ahaha.. i wanna discuss this further with u =P
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Some people live for the fortune
Some people live just for the fame
Some people live for the power yeah
Some people live just to play the game
Some people think that the physical things
Define what's within
I've been there before
But that life's a bore
So full of the superficial
Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you
Some people search for a fountain
Promises forever young
Some people need three dozen roses
And that's the only way to prove you love them
And in a world on a silver platter
And wondering what it means
No one to share, no one who truly cares for me
Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you
Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you
If I ain't got you with me baby
Nothing in this whole wide world don't mean a thing
If I ain't got you with me baby
Jennifer left this place at 7:28 PM | 0 comments
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*deleted entry*
Jennifer left this place at 11:43 PM | 0 comments
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I feel that there's so much racing thru my mind, so fast that i can't even grasp it. And when I do, all I can do is stare incredulously and wonder where that thought came from. I can't really expand on it at the moment cos some of my insecurities are playing up.. In order to understand, Steph's blog is a must-read though.. She's basically captured my worries re:blogging..
Anyhow, Easter break is over and it was back to uni again at 8am this morning. As per usual, Pei Ni (my 1st uni fren) attended Bio with me but fell asleep. She left before Maths, promising to come back for Chemistry but duhh.. she didn't. Guess that means I have to give her my notes again.. Geez. I'm tired.. It wasn't a pleasant day back. Especially my Chemistry tutorial.. I have the worst lecturer for a tutor ever.. He makes Chemistry seem so boring. At least my Chem lecturers are great. We changed Chem lecturers - from a good one to another good one.. Whoo hoo~!!! I'm SO loving Chem. Mr Chidgey would've been so proud of me.. hehehhe.. I shall attend all Chem lectures. Much easier to understand the lectures than the tutorials. Useless shit.
Been partying hard all easter break.. so it's time to knuckle down n get some work done. Chem Engineering report due on the 11th of april (all 2000 words of it) and on the same day i've got my Chem mid-sem test. arghh.. gotta study gotta study. I wonder when all my other subjects' mid-sem tests are.. *sigh* alright better start on something, like watching tv maybe.. ahahha... nah.. i dun suppose 2000 words is a lot. Ashish (my chem eng. friend) says he's got 4000 words at the moment n is trying to cut down. 4000?!??!?!?!?
Ooooh.... note to Steph~!!!! This is complicated.. ahahah.. My sister's friend's flatmate's girlfriend(Lina) is a big fan of anime too and she's got a whole stack that she's gonna lend me.. I was thinking of burning them n sending them off to ya.. what d'ya think? =)
And I was also thinking of getting a 200 gig harddisk for my sis's comp.. *hics* all the things i could do with it... *hics* Lina says it's about AUD160. Hmm,... just maybe.. Damn it's so tempting. Especially after i got my first paycheck after 5 weeks of work. All seven hundred n twelve dollars.. Suh-weeettt
Jennifer left this place at 5:29 PM | 2 comments
Eep! And you haven't even seen the end of Kiddy Grade yet ... mind you, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense (granted, most anime doesn't)
Hehehe.. yeah i know.. was the last one interesting? I think i only watched up to 7.. i'm not sure. can't remember anymore. Lina gave me a whole stack though. Vampire Hunter D's at the top. Can't see what's below it cos I vowed not to touch them until i finish my workload... *hics*!!
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