19th November 1987
Dysfunctional
Sadistic
Masochistic
Protective
Specializes in sarcasm
Currently doing Masters. why??
Loves amelia koe
Loves mitsu the shih tzu
She is after all, a silent catastrophe. Be warned..
Heading in all the wrong directions - perhaps leading to my own downfall. Yay what's new?
The pain seems to have gone. I wonder whether it's a temporary or a permanent thing =/ I hope its temporary cos then at least I could give the doctors a chance to figure out what was actually wrong. Not looking forward to the ultrasound on Wednesday though. Which reminds me - having to make your way to the hospital at 3 o'clock in the morning on your own doesn't make you feel any better. Then this reminds me of all the reasons why I don't do long distance. Which kind of screws up my life. Brilliant.
Aiming for irrelevant things in life. Things to make me feel better temporarily. And I know its so stupid but I'm blinded by the path I chose and I know it's most likely leading to disappointment. How futile but yet.. ever hopeful, ever torn.
I've become cryptic. Too many thoughts, too many secrets. RARRRR so ready to spill them out but knowing now's not the best time. Or ever. =.=
I think I've found my new favourite doctor XD i like very much. Hahaha.. not to mention he actually has no bloody clue as to what's wrong with me. He hazards guesses and then decides that it may not be the right answer =/ but i like him anyway. He amuses me, which is something new in a long long time.
So.. right now i'm just trying to make the most of what's left of life in Melbourne. Making it thru each day, one at a time. Plans to be hardworking and studious have fallen apart because there's no space in my room to be studious or hardworking. My room is a mess - my life is a mess. Freaking out about weird people. Freaking out about Biochem. Freaking out about the boredom that's gonna drive me crazy soon. Freaking out about the hermit lifestyle that I'm seemingly adopting. OH MY GAWDS!
Hahaha.. I'm turning 20 and I'm so so so bored of life already.
- some times bad things happen to good people.. - if you had a little sister and she was hurt, wouldn't you try to give her some love? give yourself some love.. its okay
some times i believe her, some times i don't. some times life is not worth living, but ending it all is too much trouble.
people tell you to hang in there. i guess there is not much else to do.
I never realized that one person's death could have such a rippling effect. Even people who never knew that person could be affected. Wow. Impressive. But so bloody MISERABLE.
Peini's gone out so I have the house to myself to clear my mind and think. I feel suffocated. And scattered. On top of that, I no longer have to room to hide myself in when I just want to be alone. For the time being, that is. If I get the time, I might go take a photo of what my room looks like right now. Horrifying. Sean's, Jason's and Ket's stuff are ALL over my room. I can't get past my door at the moment. It's depressing me further than I already am.
On a happier note, I seem to be doing very well for my first week of uni =) I've attended all my lectures so far. WAHAHAHA so proud. But then again, I always start off this way. Hopefully, this sem with nobody around to distract me, I can try and turn introvert n just stay home n be hardworking. Lol. Key word there being try.
I love KL because it used to be home. Its not home anymore and my heart is heavy because I know its time to let it go. I guess I won't have any strong urges to return anymore and if I do, it would only be for a holiday. This isn't home anymore. Looking out of the window of my hotel room on the 17th floor, watching the fireworks for the last day of Chinese New Year, it finally hits me. It's quite sad, really. This country no longer has a place for me. I don't fit in here anymore.
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Heading in all the wrong directions - perhaps leading to my own downfall. Yay what's new?
The pain seems to have gone. I wonder whether it's a temporary or a permanent thing =/ I hope its temporary cos then at least I could give the doctors a chance to figure out what was actually wrong. Not looking forward to the ultrasound on Wednesday though. Which reminds me - having to make your way to the hospital at 3 o'clock in the morning on your own doesn't make you feel any better. Then this reminds me of all the reasons why I don't do long distance. Which kind of screws up my life. Brilliant.
Aiming for irrelevant things in life. Things to make me feel better temporarily. And I know its so stupid but I'm blinded by the path I chose and I know it's most likely leading to disappointment. How futile but yet.. ever hopeful, ever torn.
I've become cryptic. Too many thoughts, too many secrets. RARRRR so ready to spill them out but knowing now's not the best time. Or ever. =.=
Jennifer left this place at 1:55 PM | 0 comments
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I think I've found my new favourite doctor XD i like very much. Hahaha.. not to mention he actually has no bloody clue as to what's wrong with me. He hazards guesses and then decides that it may not be the right answer =/ but i like him anyway. He amuses me, which is something new in a long long time.
So.. right now i'm just trying to make the most of what's left of life in Melbourne. Making it thru each day, one at a time. Plans to be hardworking and studious have fallen apart because there's no space in my room to be studious or hardworking. My room is a mess - my life is a mess. Freaking out about weird people. Freaking out about Biochem. Freaking out about the boredom that's gonna drive me crazy soon. Freaking out about the hermit lifestyle that I'm seemingly adopting. OH MY GAWDS!
Hahaha.. I'm turning 20 and I'm so so so bored of life already.
Jennifer left this place at 10:07 PM | 1 comments
couple of things my therapist has said to me:
- some times bad things happen to good people..
- if you had a little sister and she was hurt, wouldn't you try to give her some love? give yourself some love.. its okay
some times i believe her, some times i don't. some times life is not worth living, but ending it all is too much trouble.
people tell you to hang in there. i guess there is not much else to do.
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For some strange reason, the world seems to be busy at the exact same time ):
I'm so tired.
Jennifer left this place at 11:20 PM | 0 comments
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I never realized that one person's death could have such a rippling effect. Even people who never knew that person could be affected. Wow. Impressive. But so bloody MISERABLE.
Peini's gone out so I have the house to myself to clear my mind and think. I feel suffocated. And scattered. On top of that, I no longer have to room to hide myself in when I just want to be alone. For the time being, that is. If I get the time, I might go take a photo of what my room looks like right now. Horrifying. Sean's, Jason's and Ket's stuff are ALL over my room. I can't get past my door at the moment. It's depressing me further than I already am.
On a happier note, I seem to be doing very well for my first week of uni =) I've attended all my lectures so far. WAHAHAHA so proud. But then again, I always start off this way. Hopefully, this sem with nobody around to distract me, I can try and turn introvert n just stay home n be hardworking. Lol. Key word there being try.
Jennifer left this place at 6:49 PM | 0 comments
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I love KL because it used to be home. Its not home anymore and my heart is heavy because I know its time to let it go. I guess I won't have any strong urges to return anymore and if I do, it would only be for a holiday. This isn't home anymore. Looking out of the window of my hotel room on the 17th floor, watching the fireworks for the last day of Chinese New Year, it finally hits me. It's quite sad, really. This country no longer has a place for me. I don't fit in here anymore.
Jennifer left this place at 5:06 AM | 0 comments
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